Some time ago, in a pathetic display of low self-esteem, I solicited questions from the audience. Today’s post is in response to a question from Sarah, who asked, “What is the most embarrassing concert you ever attended?”.

* * *

I wish I could say that my most embarrassing concert experience was something truly embarrassing; something along the lines of sneaking out of the house at the age of 16 to take a bus to Philadelphia to see Boyz II Men or somesuch, which would be a story that certain people I’m married to might or might not readily admit to. Alas, I was not even that cool in high school. Instead, I’ll tell you a story about a college road trip.

It was April of my freshman year, and my friend Dave (we travel in pairs) had a great idea. A friend of his was on tour with a band called Angry Salad, and we should go see them play. Sure, I said, where are they playing? He didn’t know exactly, Dave replied, but it’s somewhere at Penn State, let’s go!

And off we went, the two of us, a borrowed radar detector (courtesy of the ridiculous return policy at now-bankrupt Service Merchandise), and my 1985 Lincoln Town Car — with 380,000 miles on it — taking 287 to 80 at 5 in the morning.

Some five hours and one McDonald’s breakfast later, just past the junction of US 220 and State Route 26, while driving a touch too fast on a slick road, a car cut me off. I hit the brakes as hard as I could, but, this being a pre-ABS model vehicle, it was immediately clear to me that I was about to rear-end the jackass who cut me off. Although he would have certainly deserved it, I veered off to the shoulder in an attempt to give myself some more stopping distance. Unfortunately, the shoulder disappeared. Became someone’s front lawn, actually.

So there we were, careening at 40 miles per hour through the wet, grassy lawn of some unsuspecting Bellefonte, PA resident, in a hulking 1985 Lincoln Town Car. Stopping was not much of an option, and so I devoted my concentration to avoiding the various lawn ornaments and landscaping rocks strewn across this lawn, when Dave spake thusly:

“Shit! Watch out for that car!”

Too late. Boom.

Straight into the driver’s side doors of a tiny red Hyundai minding its own business at a stop sign, trying to make a left turn onto 220. He didn’t even see me until my hood ornament was 5 feet from his face. Again, Dave:

“Great! Now we’re going to be late for the show!”

In a New York Times Op-Ed piece, Geraldine Ferraro (a self-professed Hillary supporter) defends the possibility of having “superdelegates” select the Democratic presidential nominee in defiance of the popular vote in the primaries:

[T]he delegate totals from primaries and caucuses do not necessarily reflect the will of rank-and-file Democrats. Most Democrats have not been heard from at the polls. We have all been impressed by the turnout for this year’s primaries — clearly both candidates have excited and engaged the party’s membership — but, even so, turnout for primaries and caucuses is notoriously low. It would be shocking if 30 percent of registered Democrats have participated.

If that is the case, we could end up with a nominee who has been actively supported by, at most, 15 percent of registered Democrats. That’s hardly a grassroots mandate.

This is an excellent point: why should we listen to the few people who voted, when all these other people are out there who haven’t voted at all? Shouldn’t their opinions be considered as well?

I mean, you can’t possibly claim to have a popular mandate when you haven’t won even a quarter of eligible voters, right? Right?¹

____________
¹ In 1992, Bill Clinton won the presidency with 44.9 million votes, or roughly 23.7% of the voting-age population of 189.5 million (and just barely a third of the 133.8 million registered voters). Just sayin’.

Some time ago, in a desperate cry for attention, I solicited questions from the audience. Today’s post is in response to a question from Curtis, who asked, I assume jokingly, “So what do you really think of this breastfeeding thing, anyway?”.

* * *

The best way I can think of to answer this question is with an anecdote:

E was about 8 months pregnant when we interviewed Dr. Max Van Gilder, who would, several weeks later, become Ronen’s first pediatrician. It was a group “getting to know you” session — a tour of the office and a Q&A session, with five or six other pairs of parents-to-be.

D r. Van Gilder was recommended to us by E’s wonderful midwives, so we came in predisposed to liking him. Nonetheless, the deal was sealed by the following exchange, which followed one expecting mother’s question of “How soon is it safe to fly with the baby?”

VAN GILDER: I would say not to fly with the baby the first few days, but after that, no problem.
PREGGO: Really? So soon? But wouldn’t the baby be susceptible to catching something from another passenger?
VAN GILDER: No, no.  You see, as long as you’re breastfeeding, the baby will have your adult immunity.
PREGGO: But what if you’re not breastfeeding?
VAN GILDER: Well, then…it won’t.

* * *

’nuff said.

Some time ago, in a transparent ploy to generate reader comments, I solicited questions from the audience (questions which I promptly ignored). Today’s post is in response to a question from Kelly, who asked for the story of how E and I met.

* * *

I returned to Rutgers in the fall of 1997 with renewed determination, and three primary goals. Prior to leaving, eight months earlier, I had been in a rut. My grades were good, but I was largely bored in my classwork. I was partying more often that I really should have been, but not necessarily enjoying the company of my friends. Well before I boarded my flight to Israel, it was clear to me that I needed a break.

Nominally, I spent the next semester studying at the University of Haifa; in reality, I spent the majority of the time traveling around the country and visiting relatives I hadn’t seen in years. I saw the trip as an opportunity to immerse myself in Israeli news, politics and culture, to rediscover my long-faded israeliut.

Back in New Brunswick, refreshed, I enrolled for the final 13 credits I needed to graduate (goal #1). I was glad for the relatively light course load, as the law school application process (goal #2) took up a great deal of my time (btw, who the fuck do the folks at Yale think they are, requiring two essays when everyone else has just one?). The light course load also fit in well with goal #3.

[RONEN runs into living room at full speed]

RONEN: Daddy!  Can you get the animal for me?
ME:  Which animals, sweetie?
RONEN [pointing at box of animal puzzles]: The zebra animals!
ME: Why should I get the animals?
RONEN: Because I not a big boy.  I a little baby.  You are a big boy!
ME [handing RONEN stack of puzzle pieces]: You’re no baby!  You’re huge!
RONEN: YEAH!  [taking puzzle pieces] Thankoo.

[RONEN runs to bathroom, where he assembles the puzzle on the floor.] 

Having a hard time understanding all the news about the subprime crisis destroying the economy? Can’t figure out just what the hell is going on? Well, you won’t after you read this Subprime Primer.

(I take no credit for the content of the foregoing presentation, which was passed along to me by a friend who used to work for one of the Wall Street Bad Guys but saw the error of his ways and now is hard at work protecting my wife’s retirement funds. Thanks, Fielding!)

[Update: fixed the link so that now you can view the presentation on Google Documents without having to download the file.]

No, seriously.

Yes, it’s legitimate.

No, there’s no catch.

In a sure sign of a second internet bubble, a well-funded startup company is attempting to compete with PayPal, and it’s offering new users a $25 sign-up bonus (US residents only), plus a $10 referral bonus for each new user you (or, in this case, I) refer. That’s a pretty expensive customer acquisition model, but I’m happy to help them part with their money.

So, if you want some free money, send me an email, and I’ll send you the referral link.

Valentine’s Day?  Pft.   Here’s something to get really excited about:

Today is the mandatory reporting date for pitchers, catchers and injured players at spring training!

Oh, baseball, I’ve missed you so!

One might be inclined to read the news of Starbucks’ plan to offer 2 free hours of WiFi internet service to customers paying for their latte with a Starbucks gift card as a pro-consumer change, something that customers should be happy about, something that will make customers love Starbucks for its friendliness.

But that’s not how one would reads this news if were is a cynic.

No, if one were a cynic, one would read this news as a move motivated by pure greed. Yes, dear customer, buy our coffee with our gift card. Load this gift card with $20, and spend it $3.24 at a time. We’ll give you your precious internet connection, but we’ll book the $0.56 left over on your card at the end as “breakage revenue”; unless, that is, you lose your card before you spent all of the other $19.44. In that case, we’ll keep that too.

Insert maniacal evil laughter from Starbucks corporate headquarters here.

Breakage revenue. It’s the new black.

[Photo credit: clarkk]

I ducked out of work last week for a quick 36 hour trip to Vegas with my dad; lost $500 in five seconds (well, it felt like five seconds) at the craps table, but made some of that back on winning Superbowl bets.  Go Giants!

In the week since, I’ve gotten at least half a dozen promotional emails from MGM (”Come back!  Our craps dealers miss you!”), so it’s time for another post of hotel discount codes — this time, MGM Grand, Luxor, New York New York and Mandalay Bay.

♣ 20% off room rates at New York New York using discount code 20DSCH, most nights now through July 31 if you book by March 31.   I suspect that you cannot get a good bagel there, however.

♥  MGM Grand’s “Winter Meltdown” has rooms from $89 (good luck on weekends), packaged with $20 suite upgrades, free airport shuttle transfers and a $25 “activity credit”, using discount code INB155, now through April 30 if you book by February 29.

♦  Luxor has rooms starting at $69 (and 50% off suite upgrades) now through April 30 (book by February 21), which come with a slew of discounts such as a $30 dining credit, $10 bar credit, 2-for-1 admissions to the spa, the IMAX theater and the King Tut museum, and some other crap you’re not going to use, using discount code PGET29.

♠ Mandalay Bay claims to have lost a convention booking at the last minute, and is offering unusually low rates for the next 10 days ($159 for a weekend night, $109 for weeknights) using discount code PWARM12-P2.  If you see my $500, please say hi.  I miss it.

OK, real content coming soon, I promise.